My Boat Trip!

My schools freshmen went to Sweden by ferry. First year boat trip isn’t something the school supports, but it doesn’t forbid it either, it’s like a tradition in every high school or at least in Finland.

The first day was very nice. We ate at the Silja Lines buffet and it was delicious, I mean it. After we ate we had our music and which we played in our rooms. It was like our own party and we invited some of the guys who we knew and were from the other high school. We went to sleep early that we could be cheerful in Sweden.

in the morning, we ate breakfast and arrived in Sweden. In Sweden we wanted to go to a mall center called the Gallery so we had to ask Swedish people for directions. When we asked for the directions, we sometimes asked in Swedish ”Ursäkta, var är Gallery?” and sometimes in English. It was nice to ask in English because I learned something new, but sometimes they really weren’t knew what to say, some guys weren’t really knew how to speak English.. When we got to the Gallery we ate again and bought some clothes. Of course we had to do some shopping!!

After all that, we left the Center and asked for directions back to the terminal, but they all said that it’s too far away and that we had to take a subway, we saw a subway sign and we bought our subway tickets, we went to the subway and left the subway. Then we boarded the ferry and we headed to Finland, our home .

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  1. #1 by Mrs. Puhakka on February 3, 2015 - 8:56 am

    Contents: Good
    A fun story! However, always write as if you were writing to a stranger. You assume a lot from your reader. For example, a better topic sentence would be, “I am a 16-year-old high school freshmen from Finland and as is tradition, I went to Sweden by ferry in 2014 with all the other freshmen to celebrate our first year.” The main point of your essay was that you discovered communicating in another language can be fun. That should be conveyed in the first paragraph and the conclusion. For better structure, plan your essay!

    Media: Good

    Grammar: Satisfactory
    – school’s = koulun, Silja Line’s = Siljan (jos et laita heittomerkkiä, sanoista tulee monikkoja)
    – SO that
    – DIDN’T know what to say http://www.ego4u.com/en/cram-up/grammar/simple-past

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