The Useless Navigator


In 2010, my mom and I traveled to Italy. We flew to Rome and rented a car at the airport. We were heading to the Alps. For the first time, my mom had brought a navigator with us. We had always navigated with old-school maps, but now we had a modern navigator with us.
  The drive to the Alps had gone well and half-way there our navigator just turned off. We drove to the side of the road and tried to fix it. Usually I am good with electronics but I could not fix it. We did not bring any maps with us and my mom was enraged.
  We kept on going and crossed our fingers that we would find a shop that sells maps. Well, after ten minutes of intense driving we found a blessing in disguise. It was a weird immigrant car shop. We went inside the shop and it smelled like kebab and cigarettes.The owner of the shop was very happy and kind to us. Fortunately they had 20 different maps on the wall.
  The road trip went well after that and we had a blast in the Alps. But what happened to the navigator was a mystery, it never turned on and I have no idea whatsoever where it is now and what happened to it.
  1. #1 by Mrs. Puhakka on January 28, 2015 - 10:25 am

    Contents: Very good
    A good topic sentence is informative and intriguing. For example, “In 2010 my mom and I traveled to Italy and faced unforeseen challenges with our navigator.”

    My favorite part is the one in which you describe the shop. You use your sense of smell to describe the odor of the place. I wish you had included more of that to spice up your text. Even if you can’t remember everything, use your imagination to make up details and entertain us!

    All in all, the story was fun to read and your English is effortless and eloquent. Always try to use advanced vocabulary.

    Media: Room for improvement
    No photos, links, videos? No text formatting?

    Grammar: Excellent
    – good AT fixing electronics

  2. #2 by santerikuusemaa on January 6, 2015 - 10:08 pm

    Your story was fascinating but I would have liked to see some pics.

    • #3 by Mrs. Puhakka on January 8, 2015 - 5:16 pm

      You have not dug deep enough – the comment is not very constructive. Next time try to suggest something to improve the essay!
      – liked to HAVE SEEN some PICTURES

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