My Trip With A Broken Leg

Last summer we went to Mallorca with my two best friends, my parents and my sister. I also had a broken leg, which made things a bit more difficult. I couldn’t swim and it was really hot because it was the middle of July and I also had to walk with the crutches. Despite my broken leg, those two weeks in Mallorca were the best weeks of my life!

The first week we stayed in Cala d’Or, which was a beautiful place. It was small, but there was still a lot to see and do. We saw some beautiful beaches and we could see the harbor from our hotel balcony.

The view from our hotel balcony

The view from our hotel balcony

 

We ate a lot of good food and we also went to a disco some nights. Trust me, dancing with a broken leg isn’t that easy, but it was a lot of fun! The whole week was great and sunny and we got to know some British and German people.

When the first week was over, we were supposed to take a bus to Palma, but the bus was almost two hours late and I was feeling really sick, so we decided to take a cab there. Palma seemed like a really big and busy town after Cala d’Or. There was so much people and noise, but the city life felt good after a week of relaxation in Cala d’Or. I was able to walk some distances without the crutches in Palma, which made things easier because we did a lot of shopping and other activities there.

The streets of Palma

The streets of Palma

The whole trip was amazing even with my broken leg and I would definitely go back any time!

Ida

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  1. #1 by Mrs. Puhakka on January 28, 2015 - 10:19 am

    Contents: Good
    Using your broken leg as a gist is a great idea, but you do not take it all the way. What was it like to walk around in that heat and try to sunbathe with a broken leg? Describe using all your senses! The middle paragraphs basically list everything that you did, when you should be telling wild stories that your readers can visualize. Avoid vague sentences like, “We got to know some German and British people.” Who cares? To make it intriguing, link it up with the broken leg, for example, “”We got to know some German and British boys who felt sorry for me because of my leg and flirted shamelessly.” If you can’t remember all the details, use your imagination! Its’ all about telling a fantastic story!

    The conclusion is too brief. Write 2-4 full paragraphs and count and mark the words underneath.

    Media: Very good
    No links?

    Grammar: Good
    – walk with _ crutches (älä käytä määrättyä artikkelia, ellet ole maininnut kävelysauvoja ennen)
    – Try to avoid repeating words, use colorful vocabulary!
    http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/beautiful?s=t
    http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/good
    – there WERE SO MANY people (laksettavissa, joten käytä many sanaa vs. much water)

  2. #2 by Casper on January 7, 2015 - 3:43 pm

    It sounded like you had lots of fun in Mallorca, even thought you had a broken leg. It didn’t still seem to stop you, what is good! Your post was great and vocabullary was brilliant as I saw it. That plaze sounded like tons of fun and because of your post, I would want to travel there too! Also your photos were great and your hotel room had a really nice view!

    • #3 by Mrs. Puhakka on January 8, 2015 - 5:24 pm

      ‘Good’ and ‘nice’ are not very exciting adjectives, try to use synonyms for diversity! To be more constructive, suggest something that the writer could do better next time.
      – though
      – as I saw it???
      – WHICH is good (what ei viittaa mihinkään lauseessa!)
      – plaCe

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