Flashback From Florida

I remember when I was kid and we went to Florida. We usually bought our food at walmarket, a giant American super market. Once when we were there some employee took my hat and asked me if the New York Yankees was my favorite baseball team. I was so scared and I didn’t know what was going on. I panic when the old man took my hat and I asked my brother to help me. After that we wanted to taste the Amarican donut. 

”The dunkin donut.”

uuuuuu

We got the hat back and went to our holiday accommodation which we had rented from some strangers. We started to watch a Halloween movie and it was scary for me and that’s why I went bed early and cause I saw nightmares.

 

We wanted to go to Florida because the Universal Studios was there. There are all the classic rides. Hulk roller coaster and Spiderman roller coaster but I can remember only one thing clearly. There was a policewoman who had a six-pack on her back. The trip was powerful memory to me.

 

”The map of Universal Studios”

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Words: 189

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  1. #1 by Mrs. Puhakka on January 27, 2015 - 2:55 pm

    Contents: Satisfactory
    To make your story come full circle start with the main idea. I suppose it is that your best memories are of this trip. Start with that and conclude with the same. Then everything in between must support the main idea. Your story shows promise, but without any description it is not very colorful. What did the scary lady look like or smell like? Details! f you can’t remember everything, make it up!

    Media: Good

    Grammar: Good
    – I have LOTS OF POWERFUL MEMORIES OF the trip

  2. #2 by santtu9 on December 18, 2014 - 2:49 pm

    Very interesting and easily readable blog post! I liked the part where you told about the donuts and the universal studios. The donuts looked delicious! 🙂

    • #3 by Mrs. Puhakka on January 8, 2015 - 4:57 pm

      You need to dig deeper in order to offer some suggestions to improve upon…
      – names of sights capitalized = the Universal Studios

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