ArosCup – Football Tournament In Sweden

 

Last summer my football team EBK had a football tournament in Våsterås and the trip was ridiculous. Våsterås is located in Sweden and it’s about 100 km from Stockholm. Våsterås is the sixth largest city in Sweden. There are about one hundred thousand residents. Our trip started on Thursday afternoon when we went to Turku by bus. From there we took an evening boat to Stockholm. On the boat our whole team went to the buffet where we ate excellent food and had a good time. When the boat arrived in Stockholm we all were very happy and excited about what the future would hold for us, but we were also quite tired because the boat arrived very early in Stockholm. We had our own bus which followed and transported us wherever we wanted to go. I have never been outside of Stockholm so I was very enthusiastic when our own bus left Stockholm.
Västerås_in_Sweden

Våsterås’s location

The journey to Våsterås took an hour. Våsterås was bigger than I thought. When we arrived in Våsterås we went to the hotel straight away and we lived there for three days. We checked into the hotel and almost immediately we went to the football field because our first match was about to begin. We had six matches during the tournament and we won four of them. We placed seventh in the tournament. We lost our last match 1-0 to Brommapojkarna who come from Stockholm.
ArosCupen logo

ArosCupen logo

Våsterås center was tiny and cozy. There were a few little shopping centers and some fast food restaurants. The culture and the people were like us in Finns. The home trip we went to a huge “shopping paradise” near Stockholm. There were hundreds of outlet stores. Then we had to hurry to catch our evening boat to Turku and get back home. The whole travel was unforgettable and worth the money. We had so much fun there and I recommend Våsterås to everyone who wants some variation. Every player and parent liked Våsterås and the whole trip so I guess we will go somewhere next summer.
Word count: 349

 

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  1. #1 by Mrs. Puhakka on January 28, 2015 - 9:49 am

    Contents: Very good
    You write such beautiful, fluent English – well done! However, for a better story, try to stop every once in a while to describe something in detail using all your senses. A story is meant to entertain and give your readers the chance to imagine what you saw – be poetic, use idioms, metaphors and your imagination if you can’t remember everything!

    Media: Good

    Grammar: Excellent
    – ridiculous = älytön -> INCREDIBLY FUN, LOADS OF FUN, A BLAST

  2. #2 by emiliakainulainenemiliakainulainen on December 22, 2014 - 11:58 pm

    I think the title could have been something where you would have mentioned Våsterås, because you told a lot about it. The description is quite a good. The story is moving forward smoothly. I think your stucture is good and easy to read. I like yout blog because you had a lot of different words. And you describe våsterås like cozy and tiny very well. Which makes it my favorite part of your travel blog. It was also nice that you have put a picture where I can see where våsterås is in Sweden.
    I have been in sweden but not outside Stockholm, so I would definitely like to see a lot more of Sweden! I think your blog was nice and there wasn`t really missing enything.

    • #3 by Mrs. Puhakka on January 8, 2015 - 5:10 pm

      Overall, a very thorough comment, but I would try to use more synonyms for ‘good’ and ‘nice’ or provide actual example of what particular part was nice and why.
      – no comma before ‘because’!
      – quite _ good
      – the story MOVES forward
      – describe the place AS A cozy and tiny PLACE very well
      – your blog POST (merkintä)

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