Boring Surprise Trip

My family and I were on a bus heading to Oulanka National Park with some friends of my mother. I didn’t know any of them and it was really awkward for me. I didn’t even know where we were going to because a friend of my mother who paid the whole trip wanted to keep it as a secret.

The bus drive was a nightmare! It took approximate 13 hours or more to get there. To make the bus drive even better there were some babies crying most of the time and some old people telling lame jokes. The worst part was when our bus just stopped working in middle of nowhere. Don’t worry, it was only -33 degree outside. I was freezing. But after 30minutes we got a new bud and it took only two hours to get there after that.

We spent our time in big cottage which name I can’t remeber. At the cottage, I didn’t know anyone, but I made some friends there. So good that I don’t remember their names anymore!

Nature was really beutiful and there was a lovely silence outside. However there was nothing to do. I spent my time playing board games with strangers and eating, of course.

When we went back home at 4am our bus got stuck on an uphill road because it was so icy. After 20minutes, we got our bus moving again and we went back home. Not such a good trip I’m afraid.

OUlanka

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  1. #1 by Mrs. Puhakka on February 9, 2014 - 4:06 pm

    Contents: Very good
    Irony suits you, sir! I am glad that you chose a negative experience, catastrophes make for good stories. The only suggestion that I would make is that you try to use all of your senses when describing situations next time. For example, what do the lame old people smell like? What did it sound like when the bus couldn’t go forward any more? There is some description, but I always crave for more delicious details! Also, the last paragraph should sum up your story in a few words. So instead of mentioning yet another catastrophe, you should conclude in the following fashion:
    “In conclusion, I thought Oulanka would have more to offer. Instead all I got was lame jokes, old people and no activities whatsoever. Not such a good trip, I’m afraid.”

    Media / sources: Good
    No caption? Links?

    Grammar: Very good
    – some of my mother’s friends (käytä heittomerkkejä omistusmuodoissa kun kyse on ihmisistä)
    – keep it __ a secret
    – in THE middle of nowhere
    – -33 degreeS Celsius
    – buS
    – in A big cottage WHOSE (minkä/jonka) name I can’t remember
    – THE nature was really beaUtiful

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