My fantastic trip to Levi

It was last Christmas vacation that I had decided to make a trip with my friend Miko to Levi. Levi is in the NorthWest of Lapland and the idea of the trip was to ski and have as fun as possible. So we started the trip the day after Christmas Eve and we first went with my brother and his friend from Espoo to Tampere. So the train parted from Tampere to Rovaniemi and we had to be there on time with Miko. In Tampere we met Miko’s father Jaakko who was our wise trip leader. As we came to Tampere railwaystation Miko and I were so stoked to get back on skis because in the South there was no sign of snow this Christmas. And finally the train parted for Rovaniemi. So we arrived to Rovaniemi and from there we went on by car to Levi which took us couple of hours. It was ten o’clock in the morning as we arrived to Levi. It was so beautiful that you couldn’t even imagine because the trees were covered with snow and the slopes were just perfect and it’s always so lovely to be there! We started skiing right away on the first day and we kept on skiing for five days straight, just park and powder skiing which we love to do. The feeling that you get when you ski in powder is just amazing because you float on the soft snow and when you make curves in it the snow just dusts. In the park you can do whatever you want on rails and jumps. It’s a freestyle sport so you can do whatever tricks you want whenever you want. We also met other friends of ours and had a great time. It was New Year’s Eve at the time we were there so we also celebrated that holiday with our friends. We had an amazing time and we were so sad to leave Levi and head back to Espoo. We went back by train straight from Rovaniemi to Helsinki. In conclusion the trip was just perfect and unbelievable and the skiing was fantastic.

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  1. #1 by Mrs. Puhakka on February 9, 2014 - 3:35 pm

    Contents: Good
    There is absolutely nothing wrong with your writing skills, in fact, your English is almost flawless. However, you write as if you were telling a story to a buddy orally. When writing English, try to avoid using ‘so’ or ‘like’ and structure your essay around a theme – a gist. It takes you half the essay to get to your destination, whereupon you spend some sentences describing snowboarding in detail (this part was amazing!). Perhaps you should have instead focused on what you did when you got there and recommended the place to other like-minded tourists. Another technique that might come in handy in the future – PARAGRAPHS! They separate your story into a beginning, a middle and an end.

    Media / sources: Room for improvement
    Not one shot of your snowboarding?

    Grammar: Very good
    – I decided
    – TAKE a trip
    – northwestern
    – as MUCH fun as possible
    – railway station
    – so stoked = very excited (try to avoid slang!)
    – We arrived IN Rovaniemi
    – A couple of hours
    – WHEN we arrived IN Levi (kun saavutaan isoon paikkaan kuten kaupunki tai maa = IN, pieni paikka kuten lentokenttä = AT)
    – just BECOMES DUST

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