Got Kissed by an Elephant

I was laying next to The pool on my beach chair at Patong beach, thailand  with an ice cold Coca-Cola in my lap which i was sipping from while trying to cool myself But It didnt’ help much since it was almost 40c degrees in The sun.

I decided to take a swim in The ocean which was blue and really warm. I dived trough a Wave and got a mouthful of salt water which was nasty. Some of it got in my eyes as well, so i got out of The water and began to walk towards our Hotel pool and my beach chair whilst rubbing my eyes because of The saltwater.

I was practicly blind and then someone grabbed me on my shoulder from behind.. I was scared that some one was trying to kidnap me since i was a little kid back then, maybe 10 years old, but i was lucky.

The kidnapper which i thought it was, was really a tiny elephant which was just a little higher than i was back in The day. The elephant gave me a big kiss on The cheek which felt like it was sucking my face of with its long nostril. The elephant was a pain in The ass for The people at The beach but it was The cutest thing ever. It was running around giving backrubs, trying to pull everyones swimming suits to The ground, and giving kisses to people. The elephant was a nice cheer up to The holiday which was actually getting really boring just laying on The beach But i still would definetly go there again.

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  1. #1 by Mrs. Puhakka on February 3, 2014 - 9:47 am

    Contents: Very good
    I love your title, very creative! You write very fluently and tell a great story! However, the carelessness or your work is vexing, try to put a little bit of effort into it. From an intelligent young man such as yourself, I expect more! Aim higher and do yourself justice + try to avoid slang.

    I wish I could meet a baby elephant – you were lucky to have such a rare encounter!

    Media / sources: Room for improvement
    Not even a picture of a baby elephant?

    Grammar: Good
    – lie, lay, lain (maata) vs. lay, laid, laid (asettaa johonkin, esim. asettaa kirja pöydälle, vaatii aina objektin)
    – ON Patong Beach IN Thailand (notice the capital letters!)
    – i = I (always!)
    – cool myself OFF/DOWN
    – in the ocean (+ other weird capital letters in the middle of the sentences, don’t be careless!)
    – dive, dove, diven
    – practiCALLY blind (you coudl fix spelling mistakes by clicking the ABC proofread button!)
    – nostril = sierain, trunk = elefantin kärsä
    – a pain in the BUTT (try to refrain from profanities)
    – everyone’s swimsuits DOWN
    – the elephant really CHEERED ME UP DURING a holiday that was…
    – deFINITELY
    – but still -> However, I would…

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