Different Kind Of Ride

Have you ever been on an elephant ride? I was once with my mom six years ago. We rode in the rain forest and the elephant was very big and slow. My mom and I were scared of some snake dropping high from the trees on to us. Anyway, the rain forest was beautiful and colorful. After the ride, we fed pineapple pieces to the elephant. My mom, the elephant and I were very happy after that!

Some photos of the elephant ride.

Some photos of the elephant ride.

I will never forget that time in Thailand because it was the best trip ever! It was so hot, sunny and beautiful there. The air smelled salty and musty. It was because of the sea which is near to the place where we were at. The sea was very warm and transparent, but it looked turquoise or blue like the sky. I was really young, so I liked to swim all the time. Once, I almost swam for three hours without I getting out of the water. Thailand was a beautiful and lovely place. People was very friendly, helpful and they smiled all the time. The food was always delicious and mouth-watering.

  1. #1 by Mrs. Puhakka on February 1, 2014 - 10:36 am

    Contents: Very good
    You start with a fantastic description of an elephant ride, go on to explain that Thailand was the most stunning experience and then you just stop. If the title refers to an elephant, the story should come full circle and return to the elephant at the end = better structure. Something simple in its own paragraph to sum things up.
    “In conclusion, Thailand is gorgeous and everyone should ride an elephant at least once in their lifetime.”

    You have made an effort to use challenging adjectives and have an enticing first sentence, well done!

    Media / sources: Very good
    I like what you have done with the photos – a collage. But no links or videos?

    Grammar: Very good
    – A different kind of ride
    – people WERE very friendly

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