The Rainy Wall Of China

A few years back I visited my father who lives in Beijing , the capital of China, with my brother and sister. I was really looking forward to the trip since we had lived there when we were younger so it was exiting to the city we lived in after 10 years. Sadly, the trip didn’t start too well since I got sick at the same morning as our flight was leaving. But fortunately I was sick only during the flight and for the first day we were in China.

On our third day in China we went to see The Great Wall Of China. It was only about half an hour drive from my father’s place, but still we wanted to go there as early as possible so we wouldn’t get caught in the morning traffic which is really terrible in Beijing.  As we were driving we saw some dark clouds in the sky coming to our direction and when we arrived to The Wall it started raining. We didn’t mind the rain we just kept walking on The wall and enjoyed the sight but the chinese people seemed to be afraid of the rain. Most of them hurried to cover from the rain and some of them even panicked a little. After a while we had seen enough of the wall so we decided to leave. But the rain had caused many car crashes on the road so the traffic was an absolute disaster. The trip that we earlier drove in half an hour now took us 4 hours just because of a small rain! More than 10 people actually died that day in Beijing because of the small rain which was actually the hardest rain there had been in nearly 60 years.

Raining is getting stronger so people are leaving to get shelter from itDSC_0576

During our time in China we also visited the Forbidden Palace, Tiananmen square and we went to see our old house, neighbourhood and school. We also ate at many local restaurants and went shopping  in a few big malls. Overall it was a great trip and I can’t wait to visit that country again.

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  1. #1 by Mrs. Puhakka on January 31, 2014 - 10:13 am

    Contents: Very good
    You write English extremely fluently and have chosen an intriguing incident for your story. I learned something valuable about visiting this tourist attraction and Chinese culture. However, the last paragraph could easily be omitted. If your story is about the Great Wall of China, why list other sights in a hurry at the end? That sentence about rain before the illustration is a better ending. Then your conclusion could have been, “Overall, it was a great trip despite the rain.”

    Media / sources: Very good
    You have a caption and a relevant photo, but no links to help us learn more about the Wall of China.

    Grammar: Excellent
    – exCiting
    – got sick (ON) the same morning
    – coming IN our direction
    – arrived AT the Wall (arrive + AT = pienet paikat kuten nähtävyydet ja ravintolat jne., arrive + IN = isot paikat kuten kaupungit ja maat)
    – the Chinese (people) = kiinalainen on enkuksi isolla
    – hurried TO TAKE cover FROM the rain
    – THE RAIN is getting WORSE or IT’S STARTING TO RAIN HARDER
    Lots of commas missing. Try to add some where you would naturally take a pause when reading the story out loud.

  2. #2 by Anton on January 23, 2014 - 6:25 pm

    Where are the links? Why do you want to go back? It was great to read about your trip. Had to comment your post because I couldnt find my real partners post. Well done! 😀

    • #3 by Mrs. Puhakka on January 31, 2014 - 8:29 am

      Your comment is brief and there are too many questions. It was your job to take a close look at the text and decide what should be done better next time.
      – partners = monikko, partner’s = parin (omistusmuoto)

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