my trip to Thailand

I went to Thailand with my little brother, stepmom and dad. I went there about four years ago. We staid there about four weeks in april. We went there with airplane. The flight took at least ten hours. In the plain i had so boring time. We went in Thailand begause my dad and stepmom had just went to married. My stepmom was born in Thailand and we wanted to see her family. We spend most of the time of our trip in Pattaya and Alania Phatet which is country side of Thailand. We spend olso couple days in Bangkok which is a capital city of Thailand. In holiday we spend lot of time swimming and relaxing in a pool or beach. One sunny and hot day we went to visit on an iland named koh lahn. There was over 50 decegree. We spend nine hours in the koh lahn. Even i purned so badly, it was my favorite day of the holiday. The holiday was awesome because we ate lot of thai-food which was exotic and so spicy. We also went to shopping a lot because there was very cheep. On the flight to home the plain was one hour late because unfortunately one old man died at heartattack after he stept in to plain. That was a sad end of happy holiday.

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  4. #4 by Mrs. Puhakka on February 1, 2013 - 2:22 pm

    Use paragraphs, come up with an original title and focus on creating an enticing first sentence like, “I discovered the real Thailand with my step mom. She is from Thailand and…” Your essay lacks a central idea, even though you had such tasty ingredients. Why not describe what you learned about Thailand through your authentic travel guide and explain what she thinks about Finland in return. Cultural differences would have made a wonderful essay. Now you have listed all the things you did in Thailand without describing anything in detail or using your senses. Challenge yourself to do better next time!

    – we stayed there FOR 4 weeks in April (months capitalized)
    – had just GOTTEN married
    – we went BY airplane
    – ON the PLANE (plain = tavallinen, tylsähkö)
    – i = I had SUCH A boring time
    – we ALSO spenT A couple of days (liikkuva määre sinne mihin laittaisit *not* sanan)
    – DURING our holiday we SPENT
    – went to visit __ an island
    – Thai (capitalized!)
    – a sad end TO A happy holiday
    Press the ABC proofread button!

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